Today. And tomorrow. But mostly today.

I never want to forget today. Never ever. It started out as kind of a sucky day. And quickly turned into the kind of day you never want to forget. I had a bad morning. Weighed myself and wasn't thrilled with the result. A few little pounds may seem like nothing to most of you, but to me, after losing 80 it is devistating and it sends me in a downward spiral. (There's a whole lotta crazy up here folks. A. Whole. Lot. Of. Crazy.) (I can't WAIT to have the band put back in) (I'm thinking August after the race) (OMG stop with the parentheses).

Anyways. Only 3.5 miles on the training plan today, but my body and mind, they were having none of it. My body just felt so heavy and didn't want to cooperate. It just so happens that, for the second training season in a row, my wonderful friend Noah showed up. Just when I needed him the most. (And, yes, I WAS singing Dolly Parton in my head when I wrote that.) We talked about fat kid syndrome, and how some of us always have that voice in our heads, and how we never see ourselves the way others see us. He reminded me that even those who have done marathons and ultra marathons and who are crazy ridiculous runners have bad days. And he said some wonderful and beautiful things about me that made me cry. In a good way. And he told me to be kind to myself.
And I am going to try. I can't promise anything, but I'm going to try.

Also, my coach, Darrell also happens to be a personal trainer. And he's going to help me. And I adore him for that. Getting some tools to help me while my regular tool (the band) is on vacation will help stop this downward spiral I mentioned. I know I can count on Darrell to keep me positive and to understand my limitations, my frustrations, and yet push me where I need to be pushed to.

In short, I remembered today that I have this amazing support system around me. And I never want to forget that again.