Thursday, June 30, 2011

Liar Liar Pants on Fire

I keep saying I'm going to keep up better with this blog. Then I write one post and I forget about it.
I'm the queen of hit it and quit it apparantly.

A friend of mine sent me her blog today and it brought tears to my eyes. And I remembered what a release, what a relief it was to write. She has made the decision, like I did 70 lbs ago, to have bariatric surgery. I see so much of her in myself. I think those of us with weight issues have an unwritten sisterhood. We kind of just "get it". We understand all those feelings of inadequacy and hurt without having to say a word.
If you care to read her blog as she starts her journey its Here

I still have those feelings. I'm nowhere near overcoming them. But, I can say it is getting better. This past week I've heard "OMG you are really slimming down", "Your face is so thin", "What are you doing that you are looking so great?"
That's nice to hear. I am starting to recognize in myself the 70 lbs gone. I know that's kind of strange for people to understand. I just always see myself as the fat kid. It's just the way it goes. I tried on my wedding dress last weekend and for the first time thought "Wow, I'm really looking good". It was a nice feeling.

I have a few more goals to hit. I'm not sure if any of them will ever get me to the point where I'm completely satisfied, but I'm going to try.
I've got 26 lbs to go before I can officially say I am under 200. I honestly never thought I would ever see the number I am at right now, much less get under 200. So that's going to be a huge accomplishment for me.
The other goal I will hit probably before that one is my half marathon. That is happening July 17th in Napa. I'm walking it, but whoever would have even thought I would walk 13.1 miles.

I'm really happy that my journey has inspired someone. Like I said, I thought about keeping this whole journey a secret. But then I wondered what good would that do? This is nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone needs help at different times in their lives, and everyone needs help in different forms. This is a form that is right for me, my friend, and many other people.
I look forward to her journey as well as the rest of mine.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Cottage cheese violation

I am officially sick to death of cottage cheese. Look, I know cottage cheese isn't REALLY cheese, but I'm lumping it in this category anyways. It has cheese in the name for Christ's sake.

I'm really sick of cottage cheese. Like, so sick that if I see one more tiny white curd I may go all Godzilla on whatever is near by. Hopefully it's not a tiny village of pygmies or the Keebler Elf tree. I'd hate to be responsible for the demise of those things.

I have a small tub of cottage cheese sitting here at work next to my keyboard. It's my lunch. I was excited as I grabbed it from the fridge. My mouth was watering as I opened the top. Then I stuck my spoon in it and I looked at the container in disdain as if to say to it "I will kill you cottage cheese". And I thought, woah. What was that? I usually eat 2-3 little cottage cheeses a day. (Even the words cottage cheese is making my rage flag fly for some reason.)
So I dismissed it and I stuck my spoon in the container. The weirdest thing happened. As I was bringing the spoon to my mouth, all slow motion movie like, my face contorted and in my head I could hear "Noooooooooooooooooooooooo", but the spoon went in my mouth anyways. And then. There was silence.
The cottage cheese violated me and went down into my belly.

And now, I'm sitting here rocking back and forth wondering what I'm going to do with my lovely snack I enjoyed so much for so long and how it could have turned on me.
I hope you're happy now cottage cheese. We're on a break. We're in a fight.
Off to find a new snack....