Monday, May 30, 2011

Don't turn out the lights.....

I let my blog go dark. It wasn't intentional. It just happened.

I'm trying to get back in the swing of things now though. Let's see...since the last time I wrote I've only lost about 7 lbs. It's been slow going, which is hard for me to accept.
The weight fell off so quickly at the beginning that I didn't even have to think about it. I just got another fill last Monday. I think I have close to 5 cc's in my band now. I still don't feel like I've hit the "sweet spot" everyone talks about.
I still have that emotional piece swimming around in my head and at this point I don't feel like it will ever get better. I met up with a friend who I hadn't seen in about a month to go to a concert this past week and she said "Look at you skinny". And I thought "Who could she POSSIBLY be talking to"?? There are times that I catch a quick glimpse of myself in the mirror and there is a fleeting thought about how thin I am looking. But it's gone fairly quickly. Because, then, when I see pictures of myself, I see how far I have to go.

I don't know how or when the crazy took residence in my head, but I don't think it's going anywhere anytime soon. If I've lost 65 lbs and still can't see how far I've come? Still can't see a difference from 65 lbs ago? There's something seriously wrong with me and I don't know how to fix it.

In other news, I'm still training with Team Challenge WI for my half marathon. I have about a month and a half left, and I feel like I really need to ramp up my training. In addition, my wedding is in 5 months and I am really scared of seeing those pictures as I look today.

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