MIA

It appears my humor is MIA. I've looked everywhere for it, but I can't seem to find it. Although, my house is a pigsty, so it could be hiding under a pile of dirty dishes. It's hard to say.

It's been a rough week or so.
I will admit part of me is regretting the decision to do this. Wednesday I had another gas episode. Then I was pretty good until Christmas. Christmas evening I had another one, which seemed to pass quickly (pun intended). Then yesterday afternoon and evening I was in bed all day again feeling miserable. It appears to be food related--shellfish and eggs, but I'm not taking the chance again to find out for sure.

Today is much better. However, I do feel sore inside. It's kind of odd. It feels like I pulled a muscle, but I think it's still some trapped gas.

It leaves me asking questions like, am I going to deal with this all my life? Because if so, I'm tapping out. Spitting out my mouth guard, wiping down the sweat, and tapping out. It leaves me questioning myself and my doctor. I thought I was a VERY thorough patient the 6 months leading up to this. I asked alot of questions, did alot of research, and talked to alot of people. But, clearly, because I'm not an expert in this field, I expected my doctor to have a bit of knowledge to give me...the things that I couldn't possibly know to ask. And yet, I didn't find out about the gas pains in my shoulder that would occur until a few days before surgery. Nor did I know that eating certain foods afterwards may cause a Hiroshima like incident in my stomach leading me to the ER.

I'm feeling alot less confident in my doctor these days. I don't really trust him anymore which isn't the best relationship to have with the person who is sticking a needle in you.
I'm hoping I will slowly but surely return to normal this week. I weighed in this morning at 259. The good thing is it doesn't seem so overwhelming anymore. I don't have SO much more to lose and if I take it in stages I really only have two stages left before I get to my first goal....so that's something....

By the way...if anyone finds my humor and happiness, please send it back. It's microchipped.